Alliance Française de Londres interviews Stephen Clarke about his latest book, 1000 Years of Annoying the French. 

His first novel, A Year in the Merde, originally became a word-of-mouth hit in 2004 and is now published all over the world.  Since then he has published three more bestselling Merde novels, as well as Talk to the Snail, an indispensable guide to understanding the French.  For 1000 Years of Annoying the French, he has been breathing the chill air of ruined castles and deserted battlefields, leafing through dusty chronicles, brushing up the medieval French he studied at university and generally losing himself in the mists of history.

• How did the idea come about to write a history of Franco-British relations ?

One of the most common questions I get when doing readings is "why is there such a love-hate relationship between the British and the French?" I always reply that I agree there's a definite love between us. It's very much a secret affair - we don't like to confess it out in the open, and the Channel Tunnel is a kind of secret passage between our two bedrooms so we can sneak through in private. On the other hand, I don't think there's any hate at all - it's more of a mistrust and a rivalry.  I decided to look into the reasons for this, and as soon as I started delving into our shared history, I began to discover some wonderful stories, many of them that I half-knew, but which needed retelling, because we usually get the details all wrong.

• The book forces us to take another look at French history, whilst telling many a light-hearted tale of mésentente cordiale.  Which is your favourite of the anecdotes you recount?

My favourite has to be the section on the Entente Cordiale itself. At the time, the Brits and the French were highly distrustful of each other. Queen Victoria had just died, and France was afraid that King Edward VII was going to become too close to his cousin the Kaiser of Germany. So Edward came over to Paris and sweet-talked the French, using all the seduction techniques he had learnt as a prince in the cabarets and brothels of Paris (he had a private room in the poshest bordel of all, Le Chabanais). Basically, I think that the Entente Cordiale would never have been signed without the contribution of the filles de joie. Of course I am re-interpreting history a little, but look at the facts and the theory stands up.

• Are there any examples which show the French to their favour?

Yes, plenty. It's not an anti-French book, hence the title. For example, when I had finished the section on Napoleon, I sent it to my editor and she called me saying, "Stephen, you actually admire him, don't you?" It was meant as a bit of an accusation, but it was true - he rose through the ranks thanks to his skill as a soldier and his sheer bravery, and had very clear ideas about how to govern France that have survived to this day. Unfortunately, he got a bit too ambitious, and ended up on one of the world's windiest islands, but that's what you get for trying to conquer the world. My editor also accused me of secretly liking Joan of Arc - which was also true. After all, she was a teenager who tried to liberate her country of the hired killers who were pillaging it (the armies of the time weren't all chivalrous knights), and she was killed for wearing men's clothing, which is just a little bit sexist.

• This year we celebrate the 70th anniversary of De Gaulle’s Appel du 18 juin.  This celebration has a particular echo for us as the Alliance Française de Londres was among the first organisation to respond to the Appel, and at the time our building housed RF Section of the Special Operations Executive, a Gaullist section employing both Free French and British staff.  Whilst researching our building’s fascinating past, we have encountered many tales of French and British working bravely side by side in extraordinary circumstances.  How do you think France ’s relationship with Britain has been changed by the war dynamic?

Wow, that is the longest question I've ever been asked, and the full answer would have to be much, much longer. All I can say is that Churchill was a great francophile, and did his best to help France liberate itself. He was the man who convinced the BBC to let de Gaulle make his speech. After that, things got more complicated. The French were understandably upset about Dunkirk, and de Gaulle was frustrated that the Brits and the Americans seemed to put their own interests above those of France. These days we romanticize our bond during the war, but it was an emotional affair, and relations during the post-war years were, let's say, very strained.

• The mission of Alliance Française de Londres is to promote a good understanding between the French and the British.  Would you say your book helps to achieve this?

Yes definitely, all my books do this. They're comedies, and many of them have merde in the title, but if you read them, you'll see that I take a balanced view, based on real life here in France - I've been here for 15 years now, living and working amongst the French, and only write about things I've experienced. I know for a fact that some international companies give copies of my book Talk the the Snail to employees coming to work in France, to help them settle in. It's become a diplomatic handbook.

• As someone who has explored France and the French in such detail, would you describe yourself as a francophile ?

Yes, I love living in France. I find that once you understand the sometimes strange things that French people do, you can accept them and get on with life. The simplest example - I completely respect Parisians' reasons for wanting to push to the front of any queue. It's because life is too short and intense to spend valuable minutes standing looking at someone else's back. I agree wholeheartedly, which is why I always ask them to get in the queue behind me, so I don't waste more of my own valuable minutes than absolutely necessary.

• How do you see future Franco-British relations evolving?  Is the entente cordiale alive and well?

I see a very rosy future, yes, with France selling us Brits even more of its electricity, mineral water, Champagne, banking products, lavender soap, designer clothes, country houses, cheese, nuclear techonology and yoghurt than we buy already. If we can afford them, that is. French banks might have to lend us some money.